..:. Cracking My Vainpot .:..

 

Why Mark Twain?

a) He's from Missouri b) a contemporary of Charles Darwin c) he rocks!

 

Man has been here 32,000 years. That it took a hundred million years to prepare the world for him is proof that that is what it was done for. I suppose it is. I dunno.

If the Eiffel tower were now representing the world's age, the skin of paint on the pinnacle-knob at its summit would represent man's share of that age; & anybody would perceive that that skin was what the tower was built for. I reckon they would. I dunno.

- "Was the World Made for Man?"

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.

- Mark Twain in Eruption

 

It now seems plain to me that that theory ought to be vacated in favor of a new and truer one...the Descent of Man from the Higher Animals.

- "The Lowest Animal"

 

Evolution is a blind giant who rolls a snowball down a hill. The ball is made of flakes--circumstances. They contribute to the mass without knowing it. They adhere without intention, and without foreseeing what is to result. When they see the result they marvel at the monster ball and wonder how the contriving of it came to be originally thought out and planned. Whereas there was no such planning, there was only a law: the ball once started, all the circumstances that happened to lie in its path would help to build it, in spite of themselves. 

- "The Secret History of Eddypus"