..:. Cracking My Vainpot .:..

In a way, I've always known.

There were only 2 possibilities.

I don't really know these mainland Chinese at work and I don't really get invited to their gatherings, as they don't really think I'm Chinese.

But guess what. In the name of the Holy Chinese New Year, I was invited to make dumplings. As soon as the door open, I saw a shrine on one side of the sitting room, a gigantic white cruxifix adorned with benign Made-in-China plastic flowers and nylon drapes.

That was the moment when I realised it was a Chinese Christian fellowship that I have entered. There they were, clusters of shy college girls and awkward boys, so characteristic of such gathering,

As soon as I buried myself in a bowl of raw mince pork, the host made a special announcement.

 "His name is Ed and he is SINGLE!"

Cheers.

That was OK, since exactly 10 years ago I made that announcement myself in a Chinese Christian fellowship full of young unattached college girls, as a joke.

So it was both A) and B). They want to convert me as well as finding me a suitable partner. How very nice.

What really made me hide in the bathroom was that they started singing their very own "Jesus, I will always love you".

Coming to middle America is like turning back time. As a godless sodomite, I felt like I've been shoved back into 2 sets of closets.

They encourage to talk to the 18yo girls.

I said they were too young.

I said I'm waiting for the older ones to get divorced.

They didn't like that.

But that didn't stop them from calling me up whenever they needed a lift, to which I duly obliged. Some of my friends accused me of sleeping with the "enemy", but well, it's MY turn to convert somebody!